Sometimes you wait so long for God to do something, that when He finally starts opening the doors that you have been trying to force open with a crowbar, you almost fall through. I have that feeling right now. I think we are almost in shock at what God is doing and how fast He is doing it. Last year this journey seemed impossible, and now it is not only possible, but it seems to be happening.
A few months ago when David and I first started talking about adoption, I was wavering back and forth so much on whether this was God’s purpose or just our desires. My heart wants to step out in faith, but there is always this thought in the back of my mind that maybe I am choosing my own way over God’s, just because it seems pleasant. During this struggle (that still goes on at times), I felt God challenging me to take action steps of faith, even though in my mind they seemed stupid. So I cleaned out my upstairs office one day of everything. I started looking at ideas for a room mural that someday soon my sweet sis-in-law, Amanda, will paint. And I made room for our blessing. Shortly afterward, I was walking through a store and saw the cutest little girl outfits. I bought two that were similar, never giving a second thought to “why two?”. At the time these things seemed a little obsessive and I even questioned my own rationality :), but looking back I am so glad I took steps of faith. Cause when God starts working and you have chosen faith, you can look back and see the amazingness of what He has been doing all along. Now I have 2 little outfits hanging in my closet singing to me of 2 little girls in a far off land waiting for their daddy and mommy and brothers. “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Sometimes God asks you to have faith and sometimes He gives you evidence.
David is far more logical in his approach to life. Once he makes a decision on something, he rarely wavers. One of his most attractive qualities is the complete confidence he has when making decisions. He has always been my rock. The other night we were talking about several things in our lives right now that are just “up in the air”…several things that are beyond our control and unstable and adoption was one of the things on that list. Me, in my emotional way, immediately started to worry. “David, are you rethinking our decision?”. If David Roberts is rethinking a decision, there is cause to worry. David looked at me with his best logical face and said “Adoption is the one thing that I am very sure about at this point in my life.” He is pretty darn excited about the prospect of daughters. Evidence.
Today my friend, Melissa, called me and told me that she was getting rid of some of her daughter’s baby clothes and God told her to pass on a special dress to me. This wasn’t just any dress. This was a dress that she had bought in faith that God was going to give her a little girl to add to her brood of boys. Sure enough, just months later, her precious Jael was born. Though the pregnancy had been totally a surprise, Melissa has no doubt that this little girl was a special gift from God to her. I will be so honored to have that little dress hanging in the girls’ closet. Her words: “God told me to pass it (the dress) on to you and watch what He will do in your life.” Whoa! Evidence.
Do you need some evidence today? Maybe there is something in your life that you are truly hoping for, but you see no way that it will happen. Maybe you have a situation that requires “substance” from God to keep your hope alive. Faith is that evidence of things that you cannot yet see with your eyes. Hold on to your faith. He will bring the evidence.
I made our appointments for physicals that are required for our dossier, so we can make sure that nothing physical will keep us from being approved by China (they are truly strict about things like this). So please be in prayer that we pass with flying colors. We also should be receiving our agency paperwork packet and our fingerprint cards in the mail soon, so that we can really dive into the “paperwork trimester” :). I can assure you that I will never be so happy to be fingerprinted as I will this month! Please pray that this process will go as quickly and smoothly as possible, but also that we will not rush what God is using to prepare us. I am the most impatient person that I know, but it is in the waiting that one day the hindsight will be 20/20. We will look back and see where God used every moment to prepare us for the future.
I know I promised to keep my writing to a minimum, so forgive my excitement in having a blog. If I would have attended college, journalism probably would have been my first choice in a major. So it has been very hard not to give a play by play. I thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart for the support, for the kind words, and for your prayers. It is all so important to us and we are so happy to have you on this journey with us. Love you all.