I don’t have any adoption updates, but I wanted to share some insight that I have experienced over the last couple of days.

There are rare moments in life when it seems as though a sliver of light from heaven breaks through the darkness of thought here on earth. In these moments, just for a second, you seem to understand things that at one time were beyond your comprehension. Everything comes together and finally makes sense and then instantly it is gone again. I feel like I had a moment like this today and I wanted to share while it all seems to make sense.
Lately I have struggled with God over how much suffering happens on this earth to really good people… to Godly people, who are living their lives to please God… who are sacrificing to do what He has called them to do. Why in the world would God ever take a child from a pastor or a spouse from a missionary or a job from someone who gives of what they have to the Kingdom? This seemed so totally against His Word to me and not only that, but it seemed cruel. People that call themselves atheists will always bring Christians back to this question. Don’t you serve a cruel God if He doesn’t even take care of His own children?

Have you ever heard of or seen someone that handled a loss with grace and peace? Have you ever cried for someone who instead of crying for themselves was trusting God despite the loss? Have you ever met someone who had suffered so inconceivably, yet seemed to be able to turn it around and use it for good? Then you have experienced the glory of God. I don’t think that God’s glory can be revealed to us humans on this earth without the realities of suffering… without the realities of evil. I have never seen God’s glory in someone born with the world at their feet. I have never seen His glory in anyone claiming to be perfect. And I have never seen His glory in people who have never had a bad day in their life. Rather His glory is shown through those who have been through some “stuff”, but continue to trust Him… who have lost dreams and friends and loved ones, but refuse to turn their back on God and blame Him. That is where His glory is shown…
But isn’t such a thing unfair? Why serve a God who takes glory from His children through their pain and sufferings? This is where we have to go deeper then any shallow Christianity. We all say that we love God. 85% of Americans claim to be Christians. But how many of us are willing to say, “Jesus, I love You so much that I trust You enough to say ‘Your Will be Done’, not mine”. And how many of us are willing to embrace that Will when it comes with a cross? How many of us trust Jesus so much that even when His plan is for our loss, we somehow rejoice because it brings Him glory.

I put a note on Facebook yesterday about how we were not put on this earth for ourselves. We were put here for someone else. Our Father is reaching out to those that don’t know Him through His own children. We are His ambassadors to the world. And sometimes they can only glimpse Him through our sufferings and pain and how we handle them with Him by our side. More people have been saved at funerals then at the celebration of birth. More people have reexamined their lives watching tragedy unfold then watching a family with 2.5 kids and a dog live out the American dream. If we truly love Jesus, we have to be okay with however He chooses to use our lives on this earth. This is HARD truth and this is why I can only stand a glimpse right now of such truth. Am I willing to embrace what God has purposed for me, whether good or bad? To truly love Him, to truly please Him, to truly glorify Him, I have to answer “Yes”.
You may be in a really hard place today and you may be blaming God or fighting Him or wishing every moment that you were somewhere else. If he has entrusted you with a suffering, will you embrace it and let Him glorify Himself through it. Will you lay down your preconceived ideas about how your life should’ve turned out or could’ve been? Even if your situation was your own doing, will you let go of working it out yourself and hand it over to God? Do you trust Him? Do you believe that He loves you and that His plan will work everything together for good? Maybe sometimes His plan for you works for good in someone else. Are you selfless enough to suffer for anothers good? Hard questions that I am asking myself lately. This is the nitty gritty of the Christian faith. This is what the martyrs answer “yes” to. They have insight into God that we, in our shallow and comfortable lifestyles, push to the background. God’s plan is bigger then any one of us and this is only a temporary home. We are all on our way to eternal fellowship with God or eternal seperation from Him. We like to live in the moment, but the truth is, the moment will be over and we will be standing in front of a Holy, Powerful, Living Creator. The One responsible for giving us the life that we are currently living. Will we hear “Well done, good and faithful servant! Enter into the joy of Your Lord.”

This is what came together for me in a flash and I know I will quickly go back into the reality of this world… my love for my gorgeous family, my comfortable home, my easy life… but I want the answer to these questions to be “Yes”. Father, help me love and trust You enough to embrace ANYTHING that You have purposed for my life to bring glory to Yourself. I can’t thank You enough for what you have already done for me. It is the absolute very least I can do.