Well, I talked to our social worker today and we set up an appointment for Saturday afternoon at 1pm for her to come do a walk through of our house. Do you think I will be cleaning this week? Unfortunately so… I am sure David will insist we pass the “white glove” test, even though I will do my best to try to convince him that they would like our house to look “lived in”, not like the cover of Better Homes and Gardens. I mean do children really live in those magazine houses? Really? But anyway, I am very excited to start this last part of the home study process. Charlotte says we will have 4 visits with her as that is what China requires. I hope David and I can fake a happy marriage that long! hahaha…completely kidding!!! :). During this first visit, Charlotte will walk the house and make sure it meets with certain standards and guidelines. No idea what they are, so we shall see. But I am excited nonetheless.
Waiting has become the norm in life right now, and I am finding it a little bit easier. Though I want with all my heart to find our girls and bring them home as soon as possible, I also realize that God is preparing me for this while I wait. He is already changing my view of structure and my schedule and you wouldn’t believe the practice He is giving us with chaos. Every time I think I get it all straight, He digs a little deeper and I find myself floundering again. Hopefully soon, I will be perfect and won’t need all this work any more ;). Again, completely kidding, I am afraid He will be working on me for the rest of my living, breathing life. One minute I totally get it and the next I feel like I am in the middle of a forest with no marks on the trees. I thought it was only me, until I was reminded at a recent church service of the story of Peter.
Peter was Jesus’ loud mouth, speak-before-you-think disciple. I love most stories of him in the Bible because I can completely relate. Peter followed Christ without fail for the full 3 years of His earthly ministry. He was one of the disciples who got to see the Transfiguration, most of Christ’s miracles, and even walked on water with Him for a few minutes. When other disciples turned back because they couldn’t handle Christ’s declarations, Peter stood strong with one of my favorite verses in the Bible “Where would we go, Lord? Only You have the words of eternal life. We know that You are the Messiah.” And yet after Jesus was arrested and was well on His way to being convicted, Peter denied that He even knew Jesus. Not only did he deny Him, but he actually cursed Him. You would think that this would seal his fate as much as it did Judas’. But Peter’s heart was soft. His rashness and his mouth (wow, that sounds so familiar) got him into trouble many times, but his heart was for the Lord. Peter realized his sin and repented from the depths of his heart. He was a broken man… He had failed his Master and his Lord… I bet that he thought his relationship with Jesus was forever ruined. Christ, however, rose from the grave and I find it very interesting that one of his first appearances was to Peter. Peter was fishing and wasn’t catching anything… Jesus appeared on the shore and told him to cast his nets to the other side of the boat. When Peter obeyed and pulled up his nets, they were full to the brim. It was then his heart probably sank. It was Jesus on shore. How on earth would he face Him after completely betraying Him? Gosh, I can’t imagine the shame that must have engulfed him…to stand before the One he had called “Messiah” and then cursed as soon as life got rough. You would expect that Jesus might should give him at least a very good chewing out. But Jesus doesn’t… He simply asks him 3 times how much Peter loves Him “You know that I love you, Lord.” Peter replies 3 times. And then Jesus gives him something to live for… He says “Feed my sheep”. Or in other words “Peter, accept my forgiveness, forget about yourself, and move forward in my plan.” Jesus reinstated Peter in a way that Peter never could have reinstated himself. Jesus still trusted him with His church! He didn’t take back what He said about “Upon this rock (Peter) I will build my church and the gates of hell will not prevail against it.” He still wanted Peter to be a crucial part of what He had done on the cross. WoW!
I love that story primarily because, I , like Peter, fail my Lord so many times… and I, like Peter, need Jesus personally to sometimes reinstate me, remind me, and motivate me to get back up and continue forward with the mission He has created me for. And He still does what He did back then… I may not be able to see Him, but I hear His voice in His Word or through another person or in my heart telling me that His grace is sufficient for me. He’s a pretty amazing best friend!
Please pray for us, particularly on Saturday, that all will go well and we will mesh with our social worker. Hopefully soon, step 1 will be completely complete :).