So if the adoption process was the “Mine Train”, waiting to travel is the “Superman”. My emotions hang between excitement and panic, every now and then cresting the hills of each. I simply am finding it hard to believe that in 3 days I will be boarding a plane and crossing the ocean to meet our little girl.
I apologize if I don’t act as excited as you think I should be. Sometimes you’ll catch me in those moments that I have forgotten about the 20+ hour flight (there and back), the fact that I will be spending 2 weeks in a foreign country without my boys, and the 13 hour time difference, and you will only see the excitement of seeing a little girl’s face for the first time. Most of the time, however, you might be disappointed in my reaction as the trip that I am about to undertake weighs heavily on me. I have actual had to pray on this one “Father, if it is possible take this cup from me. Nevertheless not my will, but Your’s be done”. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I cannot do this myself, but I also know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He will be with me every step of the way. So as the minutes and hours tick away until the journey that I never in my lifetime thought I would take, I cling dependently to the One who is strong in my weakness.
Not a day goes by that I don’t wish that I was naturally adventurous…that I don’t want to love the unknown…that I long for a confidence that knows I can take on anything this world throws at me. Unfortunately, I am still working on the whole losing my life thing and running toward danger stuff. I believe that a life that follows Christ needs to include dreams that are bigger than us…that require a daily dependence on our God. Meaning we need to be doing things that we can’t do unless He shows up. This is a scary place to be, because it requires trust in a Being that we can neither see, nor control. It requires laying down our lives, so that He can receive glory through us. This is not easy… it is a narrow path. It is a path that winds through forests of suffering and pain, but it is also a path that leads to great peace and true faith. We cannot walk this path on our own, and that is why it is so necessary, for He can do nothing great through us until we learn to cling to Him for our every breath. This is a path that the world will never understand, because it magnifies our weakness in favor of His strength. It asks us to sometimes suffer so that He may be glorified. It makes us wait sometimes instead of gratifying ourselves instantly. But the destination is gonna be worth it all.
In 3 days, I will embark on a journey that is sure to change my life forever. I have already heard whispers from God that this journey will not end in China, but will only begin there. Please pray that in all of this, He will be glorified. Please ask that we will be mirrors to the world of our great God. Please pray that we will have great peace and strong minds and bodies. Please lift up our Kate and ask for the easiest, most beautiful transition possible. And please end your prayers, petitioning our Saviour to have His way in all of this from beginning to end!
“Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth…”